Victimhood & Comparison.


In school it was embarrassing to fail an exam, and we were ridiculed by teachers. Failure was taboo. In India, grades are given far more importance than practical knowledge and a questioning mind. I only wish they taught us hope to cope with failure, it would save so many youngsters from depression.

I used to top my class in college and when I failed in a professional exam a few years ago, whatever little self-confidence I had, vanished. I was ashamed of myself and embarrassed about what people around me were thinking. I kept comparing myself to those who cleared the examination, and that worsened the situation. Comparison, it kills all progress.

I then started wondering if I was being ‘targeted’, whether I was being failed on purpose. That’s victimhood.

After two years of failing the exam, I decided to give up. A few months later I read Mark Manson’s book, ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***’. I realized that I needed to stop playing victim and take responsibility for the things I blamed others for. As a result, I decided to continue pursuing my dream, no matter how many times I failed.

Although failure still weighs me down at times, I haven’t been so confident in years.

I have learnt far more from failure than success has ever taught me. I am growing every day into the woman I’ve always wanted to be – that to me is success, far greater than any success I’ve ever achieved. I believe in myself, and that’s all that matters to me.

Once you take full responsibility for your life, you realise that you get what you work for. You are the author of your life, you hold the pen. Stop blaming and stop comparing, and you will be free. Work hard and you will be rewarded.

Sadly, people love judging, and they continue comparing me to their children or relatives who are ‘succeeding’ in life. They fail to realise that everyone is fighting a battle of their own, and judging only deepens the wounds. Their arrogance makes them pricks.

Do not be bullies like them, do not push others down. Instead be the better person and lift others up.

Lessons :

1) Take responsibility for you life and believe in yourself.

2) Stop comparing yourself to those around you. Be a flower and bloom.

3) Never give up. Progress, no matter how slow, is still progress.

Thank you for reading! Stay blessed!


Photo by Brandon Morgan on Unsplash.