Note : This is an educational post, and no sleazy comments will be entertained.
Sex education :
In India, we do not receive any proper sex education. Yes, we have that awkward lecture or two in school, where most kids are giggling away with their classmates at the mention of any sexual organ, but we don’t learn much.
We had a chapter on sexual anatomy of human beings, in the ninth grade science text book, but it was skipped by our teacher.
It is the 21st century, and most of us still shy away from any conversation regarding sex with our parents or friends. Things are improving, no doubt, but the awkwardness still remains.
Fortunately for youngsters today, the internet comes to the rescue. I find them really lucky, because I didn’t have all this information at my finger tips when I was in school.
However, in the past ten years, even though I did use the internet for Facebook and Instagram, I never once thought of researching about sex. It is taboo, never to be spoken about, right? Then why should I let even Google know that I have questions about it?
When are you having kids?
Sex is still a taboo in most countries, and hardly anyone speaks openly about it.
As mentioned above, most parents try their best to avoid speaking to their kids about dating and sex.
But after their children get married, parents and relatives, whether distant or close, find it completely normal to ask them when they plan to have children.
Do these parents/relatives think that giving birth and sex are mutually exclusive? I simply can’t understand.
We grow up believing myths, in addition to the knowledge gained from the western television shows we watch, not having the courage to question what we rightfully need to know.
More and more kids are having sex from an early age, some right after hitting puberty at the age of thirteen. However, most of them do not research well before engaging in the act. They have access to a lot of information online, but they still rely on what their peers have to say.
Most girls pop pills in the morning to avoid pregnancy, leading to weight gain and hormonal imbalance. Some use protection, some don’t. But they rarely think about the main reason why protection should be used – to avoid sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
I’ve come across cases where boys have emotionally abused their partners, after being asked to use protection. They felt that the girl was doubting them and they got offended. But doesn’t the girl have the right to protect her own body?
Judging eyes :
If two individuals are sexually active, they should get regularly tested for STDs. But truth is, when one does go to their gynaecologist or their neighborhood blood testing lab, and state that they have to get an STD test done, the doctors stare at them with disgust.
I heard a podcast by a gynaecologist in India, who said that despite him being a doctor in his forties, he still feels embarrassed when he has to buy a condom from the pharmacy, the primary reason being the weird glances from the chemist. He is a doctor, a married man, and he still has a problem buying protection. How crazy is that?!?!
If parents and doctors are reluctant to speak about sex openly, who do kids go to? Getting information online is one thing, but having someone they can openly share such things with, is another.
A Ted Talk on ‘The Virginity Fraud’ :
This is a Ted Talk given by Nina Brochmann and Ellen Dahl :
The white sheet :
Most cultures have the tradition of the couple sleeping on a white bedsheet on the night of their wedding. The reason for the white sheet is to prove that the woman is a virgin after she bleeds from the sexual intercourse, once the hymen breaks. As stated in the Ted Talk above, all women do not bleed during their first vaginal intercourse, which then makes people doubt their virginity.
But then what about the man? Why is a woman’s virginity so sacred, when a man can sleep around with no guilt or trace of his act of sin? Yes, I say sin, because that is exactly what it is viewed as.
As with all traditions and superstitions, this one will live on too, unless men and women become more aware of these issues, and stand up for themselves.
My advice to women :
Remember that it is your body, and what you do with it or who you sleep with, is your choice, not your future husband’s.
Be with a man who treats you with respect, and values you for who you are, baggage and all.
P.S. The reason I wanted to write about this topic, is in my 25+ years of existence, I never knew that the hymen wasn’t like a seal, till I watched the Ted Talk yesterday.
I’m glad that I have matured in my thinking, and can write such a blog post without bothering about what others will say.
I am no longer ashamed to speak on the topic of sex, and neither should you!
Thank you for reading! Stay blessed!