My battle with depression :
Most girls grow up hating their bodies, especially in their teenage years, and I was one of them.
I dated a narcissist in my early twenties, and instead of loving me for who I was, he body shamed me on a daily basis. He knew that I had body issues, so he made it his life’s mission to make mine a living hell.
He threatened me and emotionally abused me. After I broke up with him, he stalked me and continued threatening me for a long time.
I am normally a very cheerful and talkative person, but he had distanced me from my family and friends, so at the time, I didn’t share what I was going through with anyone. I cried for hours every day, often not being able to breath. Panic attacks were routine at the time.
I thought it was normal stress I was going through because of exams, until I wanted to end my life. As soon as the thought entered my mind, I realised that something was wrong. I prayed, and God guided me to see a psychiatrist.
I was in depression, and I never knew it, but I got better after going for therapy. The medicines were mild, but having someone advise me, who was non-judgemental, helped a lot.
My battle with body shaming :
There are people who will see your weaknesses, and prey on them. They will break you down, till you find no reason to live.
My weakness was my lack of body confidence.
My ex would point to other girls at the gym and ask me when I would do pushups like them, or when I would be as fit as them. He’d show me photos of his female friends, and tell me how beautiful they were. He would stare at women whenever we went out, and I didn’t say anything, because I was scared.
He used to stuff me with food, and yell at me when I told him I couldn’t eat any more. I often wondered why he, being a fitness enthusiast, would encourage me to eat so much junk?
I got the answer recently from a male friend, who told me how guys usually think – ‘I’ll make sure my girl overeats, because if she becomes fat, no other guy will want her.’ How twisted is that?!?!
As I stress eat, the body shaming, abuse and resultant depression, made me gain a lot of weight.
This is what BODY SHAMING did to my body :
I had become overweight, and was being told by everyone I met, to lose weight. It was terrible for a person who wasn’t comfortable in her own skin, to be constantly told such a thing.
Fast forward to today :
I have criticized myself for as long as I can remember, so when I started loving myself for who I was, things started to change.
It’s been a year since I’ve been eating healthy, exercising regularly and intermittent fasting, and I’ve managed to maintain the weight I lost in the last one year.
It was only after I gave myself the love I always wanted, that I made the decision to lose weight.
This is what BODY POSITIVITY did to my body :
Over the last year, I’ve started to care more about my health, and as a consequence I’ve become comfortable with my looks.
A Ted Talk :
Looks aren’t everything, and that is exactly what Cameron Russell speaks about in her Ted Talk :
My advice to girls/women :
Stop hating your body. You are gorgeous, and you need to tell yourself that, every single day!
Stop comparing yourself to the girls/women around you, they are beautiful in their own way, and so are you!
If anyone body shames you, stay away from them. Do not give into their bullying, they don’t deserve you!
Stand up for yourself, be brave. I believe in you!
Thank you for reading! Stay blessed