My previous post detailed the experience I had last week, after leaving the house for the first time in weeks. In order to avoid getting panic attacks again, I decided to go out more frequently, at least for a drive around the neighborhood, every few days.
Today I went grocery shopping to the supermarket. (The only shopping that I love.) I was in one of the aisles searching for something, and out of nowhere a guy walked up to me and said, "Hi, I'm XXX, and you are?" I replied, "Hi, I'm Ellen."
I expected him to say, "Oh I'm sorry, I mistook you for somebody else." But instead, he said, "I don't usually do this, but I find you really beautiful. Could I get your number, so that I can take you out?"
I politely declined by saying that I was really sorry. He nodded and walked away, while I continued searching for the items I required.
What's hilarious is, I WAS WEARING A MASK!!! How in the world did he find me beautiful, when he couldn't even see my face!!
You can't see half my face when I wear a mask, and the rest of my face is even less visible when I wear specs. *face palm*
My brother told me that such incidents are pretty normal/common, and I've not experienced it before because I don't go out too often. (I'm a socially anxious introvert.)
I wonder how many strange encounters I would have had, had I been more social! Yikes, I'd rather not think about it.
But one thing's for sure, if I did socialize more, I'd definitely have more experiences to share (and more articles to write). *wink*
When I look back, I realize how mature I've become. Five years ago, a guy approached me at the gym in a similar manner, and naive me had got super excited. I had given him my number, agreed to go out with him, and he ended up being the narcissist who made my life a living hell. (Read 'My Journey Of Personal Growth.')
Today, I have greater self-esteem than I did five years ago. I am finally comfortable in my own skin - I love myself and my body, something I've struggled with for most of my life. This confidence is what I lacked all these years, which made me settle for men who treated me like crap. I can finally admit, with full certainty, that I don't need a man to complete me - I'm awesome all on my own.
One more important thing that I realized today is that age doesn't make a person mature, experiences (usually bad ones) do.
No matter how difficult life may seem at the moment, know that you are getting stronger with each twist in your path. So, don't ever give up, because you are stronger than your worst struggles!
Thank you for reading! Stay blessed!